I won't be posting any revealing info about any of my patients, for obvious reasons. While being a psychiatrist can be extremely boring much of the time, others it can be like a roller coaster in your favorite museum. These are not in any order, I'll add to this list whenever applicable or whenever I have the time.
"One time I won a date with Chelsea Clinton from a raffle that this company I worked for was holding.
Long story short, I found out that she is David Duke and also Jesse Jackson (yes, she is freakishly talented and has the best makeup team ever.)
This has been the cause of my alcoholism."
"I know that I love torturing babies, but it is something which I don't even know if I do or not - I got into 'astral projection' and now I have trouble telling whats a dream and whats not."
Pro-Life tip from me: Don't get into astral projection unless you're prepared to possibly not know what is real and what isn't. I once had a different patient threaten me with a double barrel shotgun because she wanted to know that badly if she was experiencing reality or not.
"I've gone on a 'fly only' diet just to see how it would feel, and wondered if my shit or piss would smell any different. I feel good."
