Sunday, December 25, 2011

Kids - can I steal your youth?

Black magic


Parents: How about an old kid you would never be jealous of?


I've got a once in a lifetime opportunity on my plate right now. I recently made friends with the local witchdoctor, and I've told him about how I hate being an old man who doesn't have many years left. At first I didn't really believe in magic or the occult in any way. But some of his results were documented and I was able to seek the proof - for example, he has a 25 year old male client who requested that breasts naturally grow, rather than seek a surgeon for implants. I met up with him to verify to myself that magic is real, and they grew over time! No hormones or implants; that's his only woman feature, and I felt them myself.

Kids with progeria

I need to keep this witchdoctor under the radar upon his request, he said that if I broke this rule I'd dream that I was a fly every single night for the rest of my life. So, I won't give out any of his personal information.

In exchange for allowing me to reverse the aging process by 20 years, 5 random babies would grow up to have progeria, which is a premature aging disease where kids age 7 times faster than normal.

The selfish ways have allowed me to have a more interesting life. I haven't experienced much happiness in a long time, only joy (joy is good, so the class is half full.) If I take up this offer, I can experience true happiness once again. I may feel quite guilty when I find out who these kids a few years from now - that is the rarest disease in the world!

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